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I’m lyin’ there, thinkin’—*“It’s so easy to fall in love,”* like Maggie Cheung whispers in the movie. But this ain’t love, it’s a transaction, and I’m cool with that. Hands slide lower—ooh, cheeky!—and I’m half-laughin’, half-omg-what’s-happening. Ever tried it? You should. Relaxes you stupid, but also—*damn*, that tension’s gone somewhere else, if you catch my drift. “Tonight’s the night,” I mutter—nobody hears, thank fuck.

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Then, I get another client. This guy is a total character. He walks in wearing flip-flops and socks. Like, who does that? He starts telling me about his “epic” trip to the Serra da Freita. I’m trying to focus on his insurance needs, but he’s going on about how he almost fell off a cliff. I’m like, “Dude, maybe you need life insurance more than car insurance!”

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