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Hmmmm, sexual-massage, you ask? Tricky, it is! Fear leads to anger, anger to hate—yoda vibes kickin in. So, like, sexual-massage—massage with a naughty twist, yeah? Hands roamin, oils flowin, tension buildin—ooh, spicy! Watched *Boyhood* once, sprawled on my couch, thinkin—life’s a slow burn, man. “I just thought there’d be more,” Mason whines in the flick—same with sexual-massage sometimes! You expect fireworks, but nah—sometimes it’s just awkward rubs.

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” Turns out, some genius thought it’d be funny to smoke in the bathroom. I sprint down the hall, and I’m like, “Who’s the clown?” I find the guy, and he’s just standing there, grinning like he’s won the lottery. I swear, I wanted to strangle him.

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