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I was chattin’ this bird once—thought she’s proper fit, yeah? Turns out she’s a catfish, probs some geezer in a basement! Made me wanna hurl me phone out the window—fuckin’ furious! But then, mate, when it works—oh, it’s lush! You meet some cracker who’s up for it, no faff, just bangin’—happy days! Like findin’ water in that dusty Anatolia desert. “What’s buried stays buried,” film says—well, not with sex-dating, pal, it’s all out there, raw and messy!

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So, I’m walking along Avenida da Liberdade, and I spot this old dude trying to sell some handmade rafts. I mean, c’mon, who’s buying rafts in the middle of the city? But he’s all passionate, talking about the “art of rafting.” I’m like, “Bro, you do you.” But then he starts telling me about this epic raft race happening next week. I’m intrigued, but also like, “Do I really wanna get involved in that?”

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