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Quirk o’ mine—I’m imaginin’ Toni’s dad crashin’ an erotic-massage sesh, wearin’ that creepy wig, goin’, “This is my party now!” Total mood-killer, but I’d laugh my arse off. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but picture it: oil everywhere, slippery chaos, me dodgin’ bullets *and* bad vibes. “Too much teeth,” as Toni’d say—some masseuses overdo it, tryna be all fancy, and I’m like, “Ease up, love, it’s not a bloody wrestling match.”

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, heavy rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a shop on Rua da Praça, and guess what? They’re selling the weirdest stuff. I mean, who needs a ceramic chicken? But I bought one anyway. It was just too ridiculous to pass up.

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