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But—oh, gets me goat sometimes—people judge ‘em harsh. “Oh, immoral rot!” they cry, all hoity-toity. Winds me up proper! I say, live and let live—*carpe diem*, seize the bloody day! Once met this chap, right, ex-escort, told me he paid his uni fees escorting. Fair play, I say—beats flipping burgers! Surprised me, tho—didn’t expect brains with the brawn, y’know? Bit of a *nemo me impune lacessit* moment—no one crosses me without a fight, or a laugh!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! Like, seriously, it was sunny two seconds ago. I’m sprinting down Avenida da Liberdade, trying to find shelter. I duck into this café, and guess who’s there? Ana! The girl I’ve had a crush on since forever. She’s sitting there, sipping a bica, looking all cute. I’m like, “Perfect timing, right?”

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