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Love-hate thing, really. Happy when it’s good—soft hands, warm oil, that slow tease. Angry when it’s rushed, like, slow down, I ain’t a car engine! Oh, and the music—always some cheesy flute crap. Why not Metallica? Picture this: “Enter Sandman” blasting while she’s kneading your glutes. Hilarious, right? “Sleep with one eye open,” Adèle-style, as you’re drooling on the table.

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But then, I spotted something weird. A fish flopping around on the bank. I rushed over, and it was a rare species! My heart skipped a beat. I carefully scooped it up and put it back in the water. Phew! Saved the day!

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