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But here’s a secret, darlin’—some places sneak in “extras.” Oh, I ain’t judgin’, but I was shocked plumb to my toes! Thought, “Dolly, you ain’t that kinda gal!” Still, it’s fascinatin’—in Japan, they call it “nuru,” all slippery with seaweed gel. Seaweed! I’d prob’ly smell like a sushi roll! Makes me laugh ‘til my sides split. “Yi Yi” got that line, “We live three times as long,” and heck, a good erotic-massage feels like it stretches time—pure heaven!

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So, I hit the streets, right? First stop, Café Central on Rua da Liberdade. Best coffee in town, no cap. I order my usual, a galão, and the barista, Maria, she’s like, “You again?” LOL, yeah, I’m addicted. But then, she spills it! All over the counter! I’m like, “Bruh, my caffeine fix!” But she laughs it off, and I can’t help but laugh too.

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