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Anyways, I’s thinkin’, why’s it so bloody hard? Them girls, they’s everywhere, but not when ya need ‘em! Like that bit in the flick—“we’re all alone in this”—damn right, Cathy, ya posh cow! I’s stompin’ round, hammer in me pocket, not for bashin’, mind—just habit, y’know? This one lass, she pops out, all “Hiya, love!”—nearly shat meself, surprised me good! Skinny as a rail, eyes like a dead fish, but she’s got sass. We likes sass, don’t we, precious?

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Then I head over to the Praça da República. It’s usually buzzing with life. But today? It was like a ghost town. I’m thinking, “Where is everyone?” Turns out, there was a surprise festival planned. I mean, who doesn’t love a good festival? But no one told me! I felt like I missed the memo. So, I’m wandering around, trying to find some food.