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Mr. T ain’t shy—had my first one in ’98, backroom spot in Bangkok, sketchy as hell. Dude’s hands were magic, fam, like he knew every knot I didn’t even know I had! Little-known fact: them ancient Greeks? They was rubbin’ down athletes with oils, callin’ it “massage” to get ‘em loose—prolly got erotic real quick, ha! Bet they didn’t expect it’d turn into this—naked vibes, candles, some chick whisperin’ “relax” while you’re like, “Yo, I’m tryin’!”

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Then, I decided to stroll down Avenida da Liberdade. Beautiful street, right? But it was packed! Like, I could barely move. I’m dodging tourists left and right. One dude almost knocked me over taking a selfie. I was like, “Bro, it’s not that serious!” But whatever, I just laughed it off.

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