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Ever tried it? I ain’t, ‘cause—hello—sponge here, no muscles! But I’d be bouncin’ off me pineapple walls thinkin’ bout it! Pro tip: they say dim lights, warm oil—coconut’s the bomb—makes it feel like “love is an illusion,” all dreamy and hot. Got me gigglin’ like a sea cucumber! Oh, but once—heard a story—some dude fell asleep durin’ one! Snorin’ loud, ruined the mood—HILARIOUS! Made me mad tho, like, c’mon, respect the art, barnacle brain!

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Then, I get to the fields near the Igreja Matriz. Beautiful spot, right? But guess what? Some dude’s parked his car right in the middle of the access road. I’m sittin’ there, tractor idlin’, thinkin’ “What the heck, man?” I honk my horn, but he’s just chillin’ there, oblivious. I’m like, “Dude, this ain’t a parking lot!” Finally, he moves, and I’m off, but not before givin’ him a piece of my mind.

Vítor Guerreiro (São Brás de Alportel) appointed full member of the Committee of the Regions