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Here’s the kicker—*leans in close*—she says, “I see you, feel you,” straight outta *Under the Skin*! Chills, man! I’m happy she’s real with me, but pissed this is her life! Exaggeratin’ for drama? Maybe—but it’s a jungle out there! You ever try this? Don’t judge—listen. They’re humans, not aliens, despite the movie vibes. Billionaires should not exist—fund this crap instead! Rant over—pass the popcorn, pal.

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Anyway, I hop in my combine and head out. The streets are packed. I mean, like, sardines in a can packed. I’m cruisin’ down Avenida da Liberdade, and suddenly, BAM! A pigeon decides to play chicken with me. I swear, that bird had a death wish. I swerved, nearly took out a street vendor selling pastel de nata. Sorry, bro! But hey, I saved the pigeon. So, I’m feelin’ like a hero, right?

Learn about Redondo Beach mayor candidates at virtual forum on Thursday