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About Braga
Fun fact—ancient Egypt had sexual-massage, yo. Pharaohs got it on with scented oils, rose petals, the works! Probs smelled like a damn garden while they—y’know. Bet they didn’t tip, tho, stingy bastards. Surprised me, tho, how old this shit is! Humans been horny forever, huh?
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Grabbed my café com leite and bolinho de chuva, and I’m out the door. But then, bam! I step right into a pigeon poop bomb. Ugh, seriously? I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” So, I’m hopping on one foot, trying to clean my shoe on the sidewalk of Avenida da Liberdade. People are staring, and I’m just like, “Yeah, this is my life now.”
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