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About Vila Nova de Gaia

Oi mate, so I’m standin’ there, cash register beepin’, and this bloke comes in, reekin’ of cheap cologne, askin’ me—James Bond, suave, “shaken, not stirred”—where to find a prostitute. Me, I’m thinkin’, “What am I, yer bloody pimp?” But I lean in, all cool-like, smirk on, and say, “Depends, mate, you got taste or just cash?” He’s all twitchy, nervous, probly his first rodeo. I’m pissed tho—why me? Why not Google it, ya twat? But then I’m like, whatever, let’s have some fun.

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But wait, it gets better! I ran into this old lady, Dona Maria. She’s a legend around here. Always has the best gossip. She told me about this festival coming up. “You gotta come, it’s gonna be lit!” she said. I can’t wait! Rabo-de-Peixe knows how to throw a party.

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