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I seen this escort chick once, swear to God, motherfucker, she was smooth as hell—rolled up in a blacked-out whip, lookin like she owned the damn block. Had me grinnin ear to ear, like, “Shit, girl, you the Zuckerberg of this hustle!” Ain’t no one tellin you escorts ain’t smart—takes brains to play that game, dodge the law, keep the clients comin back. Little known fact, dig this: back in the day, some escorts in Vegas ran a whole spy ring—fuckin listenin to rich dudes pillow talk, sellin secrets to the highest bidder. Wild, right? Motherfucker, I was shocked!

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First off, I grab my coffee from that little café on Rua da Liberdade. You know the one? The barista there is a legend. He knows my order by heart. I’m like, “Yo, give me that double shot, extra strong!” He just laughs and says, “You need it today, huh?” Little did he know, I was about to need a whole pot.

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