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So, picture this—met this gal once, swear it’s true, down in Burlington, ‘bout 20 years back. Called her Ruby, fiery red hair, sassy as hell. She’d laugh, say, “Bernie, I’m my own CEO!” Made me chuckle, but damn, it hit me hard—capitalism’s screwin’ her, chewin’ her up! She’s out there, dodgin’ cops, dealin’ with creeps, while some fat-cat billionaire’s sippin’ champagne on a yacht. “Billionaires should not exist!” I yelled in my head, fists clenched, voice cracklin’ like a busted radio.

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So, I decided to grab a coffee at this cute little café on Avenida da República. It’s called Café Central, and let me tell you, their pastries are to die for. I ordered a pastel de nata, and it was like heaven in my mouth. But then, I spilled coffee all over my shirt. Classic me, right? I looked like a walking disaster.

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