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Me fave’s the Mk1, tho—boxy, bit knackered-looking, like meself after a night out. Had this mate, Dave, swore his Escort was haunted—kept stalling near graveyards. Reckon it was just knackered carburetor, but he’d go, “Boris, it’s got a soul!” Laughed me head off—soul in a Ford? Pull the other one! Still, quirky little bugger, that car—doors’d stick, seats’d smell of damp dog, but you’d forgive it cos it’d start every time, like, “I’m still here, you git.”

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After that, I had to head to the port. The view from there? Breathtaking! But the traffic on Avenida Infante Dom Henrique? Don’t even get me started. I was stuck behind this old lady driving like she was in a parade. I mean, c’mon! I’ve got places to be! I was yelling at my steering wheel like it could hear me. “Hurry up, lady!”

Local squad among 32 teams participating in children’s soccer tournament in the Azores