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About Setubal

I walk in, ladies everywhere, smiling, winking. One girl, she look like my sister – I scream, “Nooo, not you!” Made me angry, heart go boom, like bomb in movie. “This is the end!” I yell, but no, she just laugh. I calm down, order drink – cheap vodka, taste like tractor oil. Brothel got dark corners, sticky floor, ugh, I trip, fall on big guy. He mad, I say, “Sorry, my king!” like in film. He punch me, I laugh – pain is funny!

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First off, I head down Rua da Liberdade. You know, the one that’s always buzzing with people? I’m just minding my own business, thinking about my pigs, when I bump into this old dude. He’s got this wild beard, like a wizard or something. He starts rambling about the best chouriço in town. I’m like, “Bro, I’m a swineherd, I know my chouriço!” But he just keeps going. I’m trying to be polite, but c’mon, I got pigs to tend to!

Popular Portuguese seaside town implements new measure targeting UK tourists