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About Porto

Oi, listen up, ya filthy animals! Me, Gru, da big bad bailiff from dem mines, gonna spill da beans bout sexual-massage, yah? Lightbulb! Dis ting, it’s sneaky, like Royal Tenenbaums vibes, all fancy but messed up underneath, ya know? Picture dis – hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension risin’ like when Richie Tenenbaum smashes dat tennis racket, bam! I tink, “Dis is art, but naughty art,” hah!

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First off, I hit the streets of Obidos, and lemme tell ya, this town is a gem. Those cobblestone streets? Classic! I’m strutting down Rua Direita, feeling all fancy, when I trip over a loose stone. Like, c’mon! Who’s in charge of these roads? I’m a bailiff, not a stuntman!

Unique local artist joins forces with unique local bar for the road trip of this summer