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Once, I heard this story—some escort ditched a guy mid-date ‘cause he smelled like old tuna! Hahaha, I’d run too! Got me mad tho—why’s he stink like that? Ruins the vibe! But then I got happy picturin’ her sprintin’ away in sparkly shoes—like, “See ya, fishbreath!” *Yi Yi* vibes again, “We live, we struggle!”—so real, man!

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So, I’m rushing down Rua da Liberdade, dodging tourists and their selfie sticks. Like, chill, people! It’s just a river! Anyway, I finally get to the square, and guess what? No one’s there. Just my luck. I’m standing there, looking like a lost puppy, when this old guy comes up to me. He’s got this huge grin, missing a few teeth, and he says, “You look like you need a fish!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m an ichthyologist, not a fisherman!” But he just laughs and hands me a small trout. I mean, what am I supposed to do with that?

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