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So, I’m strollin’ down the street, right? Lookin’ for some action—not me doin’ it, mind ya, just curious! And I see this gal, all dolled up, skirt shorter than my temper. I’m like, “Well, halleluyer, she workin’ it!” Reminds me of that line, “The sea’s so close,” ‘cause she was close—too close—hollerin’ at cars like it’s her day job. Prolly is! I ain’t mad, tho, get yo money, boo! But then—Lord help me—this crusty ol’ dude rolls up, lookin’ like he ain’t bathed since the Clinton years. I’m screamin’ inside, “Why her?!” Made me madder than a wet hen!

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When I get to the castle, it’s like stepping back in time. The walls are all ancient and cool. I’m wandering around, feeling like a knight or something. But then, I trip over a rock. Classic me. I’m on the ground, laughing at myself, and this group of tourists walks by. They’re looking at me like I’m a total weirdo. Whatever, I’m just living my best life!

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