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So, I tried it. Tinder, Bumble, whatever. Profiles got pics of abs, dogs, and thirst traps. I’m scrollin’, thinkin’, “This ain’t love, fam.” It’s a meat market, straight up. Little known fact—dudes lie about height, like, 87% of the time. Saw a study somewhere, blew my mind. I’m 5’10”, swear I’m 6’2” online—nobody checks! Hilarious. Girls do it too—filters so thick they catfishin’ themselves. Met one chick, thought she was 25. Nope, 40. Surprise, motherfucker!

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After that, I head back to my workshop, feeling inspired. I start working on the violin, and it’s coming together beautifully. I’m in the zone, you know? But then, my neighbor, old Mr. Silva, barges in. He’s got this wild look in his eyes. “There’s a cat stuck in a tree!” he yells. I’m like, “Dude, I’m busy!” But he’s persistent. So, I grab my ladder and we head out.

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