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I tried it once—don’t judge, yeah?—some lass with magic fingers, had me floatin’, proper blissed out. Made me happy as a pig in muck, but then she goes, “That’s extra, love,” and I’m fumin’—what a con! Nearly turned her into a toad, but nah, too messy. Still, that tingle down yer spine? Worth it. Surprised me how quick I melted, like, “What is this power?”—pure sorcery, I tell ya.

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See photos and read reviews for the Douro Royal Valley Hotel & Spa massage in Baiao, Portugal. Everything you need to know about the Douro Royal Valley.

After that, I decided to stroll down Rua 25 de Abril. It’s a chill street, lots of cool shops. I popped into this vintage store. Found an old guitar pick that looked like it belonged to some rock legend. I was like, “This is my lucky day!” But then, I dropped it. It rolled under a rack, and I had to crawl on the floor like a total weirdo to get it back. The shopkeeper just stared at me, probably thinking I was nuts.

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