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In the end, we had a blast, shaggin’ and laughin’, but I kept thinkin’, “Man, this life’s a crapshoot.” Like, one minute you’re king of the swingers, next you’re dodgin’ creeps. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it felt wild, baby! So, if ya wanna find a prostitute, keep your wits sharp, toss some charm, and maybe – just maybe – channel that *No Country* vibe. “Call it, friendo” – and good luck, yeah!

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First off, I hit up the café on Rua da Estação. You know, the one with the best pastéis de nata? I’m all set for my morning fix. But guess what? They ran out! Like, how do you run out of pastéis in Portugal? I was fuming. I mean, c’mon! It’s like a crime against humanity. So, I settle for a bica. Not the same, but whatever.

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