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Sarcasm, I got—payin’ for cuddles? Lame, it feels! But lonely, I get, so judge I won’t. Informative, this is—cash upfront, always, or screwed, you’ll be. X posts sayin’ “best spots downtown,” but sketchy, they are, trust me not. Web search? “Escorts near me”—bam, ads everywhere, headache it gives! Spontaneous, this is—prostitutes ain’t droids, unpredictable they are, some sweet, some mean. Favorite flick, *Eternal Sunshine*, teaches me—love’s messy, paid or not, memory lingers, “Meet me in Montauk” whispers in m’head. Hmmm, strange life, this is!

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After that, I decide to stroll down Avenida da República. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m feeling good. Then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and nearly takes me out! Like, chill, bro! I’m not ready to meet my maker just yet. I yell, “Watch it, Speed Racer!” He just laughs and keeps going. Kids these days, right?