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Ya ever think how old this crap is? Like, Romans had brothels, now we got ‘em with Wi-Fi! I’m sittin’ there, imaginin’—what if Carmela found out I even drove past one? She’d whack me with a friggin’ ladle! “You’re breaking my heart”—she’d scream it, straight outta that movie. Surprised me how many girls ain’t there ‘cause they wanna be—some sad stories, makes ya think.

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Then, I head over to the Igreja Matriz. It’s stunning, man. The architecture is wild. I’m standing there, just soaking it all in, when this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You know, this church has been here since the 12th century.” I’m like, “Wow, that’s older than my grandma!” She didn’t laugh. Awkward.