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About Porto

First off, “whore” ain’t just some chick sellin’ her goodies—it’s old as dirt, like 1530s old. Comes from some crusty Old English word “hore,” meanin’ a lady who’s, uh, *busy*. I’m talkin’ hoppin’ beds for coins, ya feel me? But here’s the kicker—it’s also just a big ol’ insult. Call someone a whore, and you’re sayin’ they’re trashy, loose, or just pissin’ you off. Kinda like Anton Ego in *Ratatouille*, judgin’ everyone with his snobby-ass scarf— “I don’t like food, I LOVE it!”—yeah, buddy, and I don’t like BS, I hate it!

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First stop? The local bakery on Avenida de Lisboa. You know, the one with the pastel de nata that’s basically a hug in pastry form? Yeah, that one. I’m standing in line, and this dude in front of me is taking forever. Like, c’mon man, it’s just a pastry! I’m about to lose it. Finally, I get my hands on that sweet, flaky goodness. Best decision ever. I’m feeling like a king, strutting down the street, all proud and stuff.

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