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My precious! Findin’ a prossie, eh? Raspy growl, me likes it dark—like *Only Lovers Left Alive*. Them vampires, Adam an’ Eve, so classy, sippin’ blood, not payin’ for flesh. Me? I’d be skulkin’ round alleys, eyes glintin’, lookin’ for that hustle. Ain’t no fancy music playin’—just boots on wet stone, “What’s this, then?” I’d mutter.

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First off, I’m a dental tech, so my day usually involves teeth, teeth, and more teeth. But today? Oh boy. I’m cruising down Rua da Alegria, thinking about my morning coffee. I stop at this little café, you know, the one near the park? Can’t remember the name, but they make the best pastéis de nata. I grab one, and boom! I spill coffee all over my shirt. Great start, right? I’m standing there, looking like a walking disaster.

House Canidelo / João Laranja Queirós