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Still, it’s heavy. You see ‘em out there, eyes hollow like Marion’s, and you think, “How’d it get this bad?” Gets me riled up—folks deserve better than sellin’ themselves for a hit. But you? You’re the john, rollin’ up, thinkin’ you’re king. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Bet it feels good till it don’t. Like Harry screamin’, “I’m somebody now!”—yeah, till the crash.

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João’s gripping the wheel like it’s a lifeline. I’m sitting there, heart racing, thinking, “Please don’t crash into a boat!” He’s swerving left and right, and I’m yelling, “Easy, man! You’re not in a race!” But he’s got that look in his eyes, you know? The “I’m gonna nail this” look. Spoiler alert: he didn’t.

Photos show why the Madeira Islands were named the best island destination in the world for the 6th time in a row