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About Amadora

So sex escort bugs, they’re these funky beetles, right? They’re called Pyrrhocoris apterus—firebugs! Little red dudes with black spots, lookin all snazzy. They don’t fly, just strut around like, “I’m too cool for wings!” And I’m sittin here thinkin, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” ‘Cause I’m Patrick Star, duh, and I see stuff all goofy-like! These bugs, they bang like crazy, no shame! The dudes just chase the ladies, and it’s all “Wham, bam, thank ya ma’am!”

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First stop? Café Alentejo. I needed my caffeine fix. I ordered a bica, and the barista, this dude with a killer mustache, was like, “You want it strong?” I was like, “Bro, I need it to slap me awake!” He laughed, and I felt a bit better. But then, I spilled half of it on my shirt. Classic me.

600 litres of olive oil stolen from Food Bank