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Did ya know—fun fact, pal—prostitutes been around since forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em strollin’ the Forum! Blows my mind. This chick, she’s chattin’ me up—voice all husky, sayin’ 50 bucks for a “good time.” I’m thinkin’, “D’oh! That’s three Duff beers!” Made me mad, tho—why’s she gotta hustle like that? World’s messed up, man. But she laughed, called me “big fella”—kinda liked that, heh! Boosted my ego, ya know?

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Then, I head over to Avenida da República. I’m cruisin’ along, mindin’ my own business, when I see this cute little café. I’m thinkin’ coffee, right? But nooo, the barista spills a whole latte on my favorite shirt. I’m like, “Great, now I look like a walking coffee stain.” But hey, at least the coffee was good. I guess that’s a win?

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