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About Queluz

So here I am, 2025, tryna find a prostitute, and it’s a bloody mission! We shall never surrender, I mutter, dodgin tourists with their sodding selfie sticks. I’m sweatin, angry as hell – where’s the action at? Then, bam, I spot her – legs for days, leanin by a bar, all “aloha, big boy” vibes. Made me happy as a pig in muck, I tell ya. Surprised too – she’s got a voice like velvet, not what I expected. “Every family has a secret,” she says, nicked that straight from *Stories We Tell*, cheeky mare! I’m hooked, thinkin, is this lass for real or just playin me?

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Then, I’m walking past the market on Praça da República. The smell of fresh bread hits me. I’m drooling, right? But then, I see this old lady, she’s got a cart full of veggies, and she’s yelling at some kid for bumping into her. I’m thinkin’, “Lady, chill! It’s just a kid!” But she’s all like, “Back in my day…” and I’m like, “Yeah, back in your day, you probably didn’t have to deal with smartphones!”