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But—cor blimey—sometimes it’s ace! Mate of mine, Tim—shagged a bird from Tinder. Said it was like “gleaning the fields” of lust—poetic sod! Little-known fact: first sex-dating site—1993! Prehistoric stuff—dial-up bonking, ha! Imagine the lag—*coitus interruptus*, eh? Cracks me up!

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But then, my phone buzzed. My friend, Miguel, was like, “Let’s hit the bar later!” I was down, but I had to run some errands first. So, I dashed over to the post office on Rua da Escola. I had to send a package. The line was insane! I mean, come on, it’s a post office, not a concert! I was getting all kinds of impatient.

São Brás de Alportel mourns the death of pediatrician Emídio de Sousa Sancho