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Hmm, find a prostetute, you say? Tricky business, it is! Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate—y’know, all that jazz from my Jedi days. So, listen up, padawan, me tellin’ ya ‘bout this shady world. Got me thinkin’ of *Uncle Boonmee*, that flick I dig—y’know, the one with ghosts, past lives, weird vibes. “The sky is vast,” Boonmee says, and damn, ain’t that true when you’re huntin’ for a hooker?

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After that, I head to a meeting with a new client. She’s this influencer, and I’m thinking, “Great, more pressure.” We meet at this trendy spot on Rua da Liberdade. She’s late, of course. I’m sitting there, scrolling through Insta, and I see her posting pics of her brunch. I’m like, “Really? You’re late for our meeting, but you have time for avocado toast?”

Residents told to stay home as heavy rain, floods batter Portugal