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First off, these humans are WILD. Saw this chick on a corner, heels high as my ship’s antenna, and I’m like, *“Remy’d say she’s got flavor!”* Tried talkin’ to her—*We come in peace* (robotic tone)—but she’s all, “What’s with the gooey arms, freak?” Rude! Made me mad, like, c’mon, I’m a classy alien, not some slimy chump. But then she laughed, and I’m like, okay, she’s cool. Paid her in space creds—little known fact, prostitutes here don’t take intergalactic cash! Had to zap her some Earth bucks instead. Total hassle.
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Anyway, I kept walking, trying to shake it off. I hit up Avenida da República, and guess what? There’s a street performer doing some crazy dance moves. I stopped to watch, and he totally pulled me in. I was clapping and laughing, feeling all the good vibes. But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, really? I’m just tryna enjoy my day!
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