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So, check it—last week, I’m cruisin’ downtown, lookin’ for some action, right? Not proud, but whatever, shit happens. This gal, she’s leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’ a cig like she owns the night. I’m thinkin’, “Ass, gas, or grass, nobody rides free!”—straight outta that flick, ya feel me? I roll up, all cocky, but she’s givin’ me that dead-eye stare—fuck, it’s creepy! Like Tyrone facin’ the needle, man, chills down my spine.

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So, I’m strolling down Rua da Liberdade, right? Just vibin’ with my coffee, feeling all philosophical. Then BAM! I see this cute little café, "Café Alenquer." I mean, who can resist a pastel de nata? Not me! I grab one, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. Seriously, I almost cried.

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