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Favorite flick’s got that vibe—beauty in the grit, ya know? Like when Ofelia says, “I’ll make my own path, motherfucker!” Okay, she didn’t say that, but she shoulda! This chick’s got that energy, dodgin pimps n johns like it’s nothin. I ask her name—Candy, she says. “Bullshit,” I laugh, “That’s every hooker’s alias!” She smirks, “Call me what you want, big man.” Fuckin sass, I dig it.

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First off, I hit up Calle Loiza for breakfast. You know, the spot with the bomb avocado toast? Yeah, that one. But guess what? They ran outta avocados! Like, how do you run outta avocados in PR? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, c’mon! So, I settled for a pastelón. Not bad, but not what I wanted.

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