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Hey buddy, lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage! It’s a wild ride, like somethin outta “The Act of Killing” – y’know, my fave flick! Them hands slidin all over, kneadin the stress outta ya, it’s like – whoa – “We’ve built a killing machine!” but for relaxin, not murderin. I reckon it’s a misunderestimated art, folks don’t get how deep it goes. Back in Texas, I heard bout this gal who’d massage ya so good, you’d swear she’s rewritin yer dang spine – true story! Ain’t no foolin me once, shame on – uh – y’know the thing!

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So, I’m cruising down Rua dos Três Poderes, and outta nowhere, this dude on a bike almost wipes me out! Like, bro, you got a death wish or what? I honked, and he just gave me the finger. Classic. I laughed it off, but man, my heart was racing.

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