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Now, I’m a WALL-E nut—best dang movie ever. That lil’ guy, he’s all heart, chasin’ love with EVE. Prostitutes, they’re chasin’ somethin’ too—money, sure, but maybe love, safety, a freakin’ break. “Eee-vah!” WALL-E’d call out, desperate. Tammy’s out there callin’ too, just quieter. Gets me all misty-eyed, thinkin’ how lonely it must be. Y’all ever think ‘bout that? I do, and it twists my gut.

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First off, I hit up Calle San José for breakfast. You know, the spot with the best mofongo? I was ready to devour that thing. But guess what? They ran out! I mean, how do you run out of mofongo in Orocovis? I was like, “Are you kidding me?” So, I settled for some toast. Toast! In Orocovis! Ugh.

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