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Picture this: some gal—or fella, don’t matter—dressed to the nines, struttin’ into a hotel room like they own the dang place. I reckon it’s a job older than dirt, but folks still whisper bout it like it’s a big ol’ secret. Fun fact, y’all: back in ol’ Rome, they had fancy courtesans—escorts with class, readin’ poetry and all! Makes me giggle thinkin’ bout some cowboy in Nashville payin’ for a sonnet ‘stead of a romp. Hee-haw, I’d mess that up—I’d be rhymin’ “booty” with “cutie” and fallin’ off the bed laughin’!
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First off, I hit up Calle San José for breakfast. You know, the spot with the best mofongo? I was ready to devour that thing. But guess what? They ran out! I mean, how do you run out of mofongo in Orocovis? I was like, “Are you kidding me?” So, I settled for some toast. Toast! In Orocovis! Ugh.
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