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So, listen, yeah? Me, creepin’ round, eyes big, lookin’ for a girl. Streets stinks, all piss an’ smoke—lovely, innit? We swears! Found one once, near Soho, real shadowy spot. She’s all, “Wotcha want, luv?” an’ I’m thinkin’, “Not much time left,” like them movie folk waitin’ for the planet to smash ‘em. Paid her quick, tenner slipped shaky-like—cheaper than a pint these days! Little fact, yeah? Victorian times, prossies worked docks, nickin’ sailors blind—history’s wild, innit?

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Turns out, it’s some local festival. People are dancing, music’s blasting, and I’m just sitting there like a grumpy old man. But then, I see this old lady selling empanadillas. I can’t resist! I grab a couple, and wow, they’re the best I’ve ever had. Like, how do they make them so crispy?

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