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So, I’m picturin’ it—me, like Bob, sarcastic as hell, starin’ at some chick in a neon-lit bar. “I’m stuck,” I’d growl, channelin’ Dr. House vibes. She’d lie—‘course she would—sayin’ she’s “new” to this. Everybody lies, babe. Been around since friggin’ Babylon—world’s oldest gig, 4 real. Fun tidbit—ancient Rome had “lupanars,” brothels with painted menus. Dirty pics showin’ what ya get—talk bout truth in advertisin’!
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First off, I hit up Calle Méndez Vigo for breakfast. Best place for a café con leche. I swear, that stuff is like liquid gold. I’m sittin’ there, mindin’ my biz, when this pigeon decides to drop a bomb right on my shoulder. Like, really? I’m tryin’ to enjoy my morning, and you gotta ruin it, Mr. Pigeon? I laughed it off, but inside, I was fumin’.
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