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Ruh-roh! Zoinks, man, erotic-massage, huh? Like, I’m no pro masseuse, but damn, this stuff’s wild! Gets me all tingly thinkin’ bout it. Hands slidin’, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ away—yowza! Watched “Stories We Tell” again last night, fave flick, ya know? Sarah Polley’s voice whisperin’, “What’s true, what’s hidden?”—kinda fits here. Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’—it’s a freakin’ mystery, man!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s another claim. I groan. “Not again!” I’m thinking. I gotta head to Calle de la Playa. This time, it’s a guy claiming his boat sank. I get there, and he’s all dramatic, waving his hands. “It was a freak accident!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, you parked it in a storm. What did you expect?”

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