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About Guaynabo

So, sex-dating—man, it’s a jungle. Apps like Grindr, Bumble, whatever, they’re all the same. People actin’ all hot n’ heavy, droppin’ lines like, “Wanna Netflix n’ chill?” Yeah, okay, buddy, chill with what—your crusty socks? I tried it once—swear to God, chick said she’s “adventurous,” code for “I’ll ghost ya after one drink.” Infuriating! Wasted my damn time. Coulda been watchin’ *Spotlight* again, gettin’ mad at the world instead of some flake. “You can’t handle the truth!”—damn right, ‘cause it’s buried under filters and fake moans.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. I mean, come on! I just got my piragua! I duck into a nearby tienda. It’s cramped, but the owner, Doña Rosa, is super sweet. She offers me a pastelón. I’m like, “Yes, please!” It’s the best comfort food ever. I’m sitting there, eating, and I can’t help but think how this little town has the best food.

1 man dead, 4 total injured after shooting at Mexican restaurant on Perkins Road, police say