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Alright, mate, lemme tell ya bout whores—growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” I’m standin’ here, runnin’ this creaky ol’ elevator, thinkin’ bout them ladies of the night, y’know? Like, whores got this vibe—mysterious, gritty, real. Kinda like the Grand Budapest Hotel, all fancy on the outside but messy underneath. “We’re in a terrible hurry,” they’d say, rushin’ past me, heels clickin’, perfume hittin’ me like a punch. I see ‘em, workin’ the streets, and I’m like—damn, they OWN the shadows, mate.

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I’m chasing after this dog like it’s the last auction of my life. I’m dodging people, tripping over chairs, and all I can think is, “This is NOT how I pictured my day!” But the crowd? They’re loving it! They’re laughing, cheering me on. I finally catch Chiquito, and the applause is deafening.

Ohio National Guard provides field medical care in Puerto Rico