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About Carolina

Thing is, it’s all hush-hush, yeah? Makes me proper angry—why’s everyone so prissy ‘bout it? It’s just a rub with a cheeky twist! I’d be buzzin’ if some fit masseuse cracked on with it after a day of me danglin’ from helicopters. But nah, society’s all, “Oh no, how crude!” Bunch of wankers. Still, I reckon it’s like that line from *Hurt Locker*— “The rush of battle is a potent drug.” Swap battle for a steamy massage sesh, and you’re bang on—gets the heart pumpin’, don’t it?

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Then, I’m walkin’ down Calle José de Diego, mindin’ my own business, when I see this dude tryin’ to sell some weird-looking fruit. Like, what even is that? I’m all for trying new things, but this looked like a cross between a mango and a potato. I’m like, “Bro, you sure that’s edible?” He just laughs and says, “Everything’s edible if you’re brave enough!” I’m not that brave, man. I just want my stoves.

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