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About Guaynabo

So, sexual-massage—fancy term for rubbin’ one out with extra steps, right? I mean, ya go in all tense, some chick or dude’s got their paws all over ya, and it’s supposed to be “therapeutic.” Ha! Don’t gimme that malarkey—I’ve seen the backrooms of retail, I know sketchy when I see it. Little known fact: back in the ‘90s, these “massage parlors” were poppin’ up like zits on a teen—cops busted one in my old town, found out the “masseuse” was a ex-stripper named Candy. True story! Made me laugh ‘til I cried—happy tears, ‘cause who doesn’t love a good bust?

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Around noon, I’m finally done. I pack up some goodies and head out. I’m walking down Calle 65, and it’s packed! People are laughing, kids are running around, and I’m just soaking it all in. Then, I see this old lady, Doña Rosa. She’s like 90 and still sharp as a tack. She’s got this huge smile, and she’s holding a bag of my bread. She says, “Mijo, your bread is the best!” I swear, my heart just melted.

Always Ready vs Blooming: A Classic Showdown at Villa Ingenio