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Me? I’d scope the scene—quietly. Sip my drink—watch. Happy when they’re clever—outsmartin’ pigs. Surprised me once—girl quoted stocks mid-deal. “Dow’s up!” she says—wild! I’m thinkin’—she’s playin’ me? Love that edge—keeps ya sharp. Personal quirk—I’d tip extra. Call it—market respect. Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but one time—heard a pimp braggin’. Said his girl made 10k—weekly! I’m like—holy crap—retire me!

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the beach. Playa Guayanilla is a gem! The sun was shining, waves crashing, and I thought, “This is it!” But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches my phone! I’m like, “Dude, that’s my lifeline!” I chased that bird down Calle 2, flailing my arms like a madman. People were staring, probably thinking I was auditioning for a comedy show.

Puerto Rico’s earthquakes pile up fresh challenges for the U.S. territory