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About Myself
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But seriouslah, it’s risky, y’all. STDs, cops, creepy pimps — I’m yellin’, “Get outta my face, losers!” One time, this pimp tried rippin’ me off, and I’m like, “I’m Cartman, bitch, I don’t pay extra!” Kicked his ass — well, in my head I did. Total Boonmee moment: “The jungle hums with old sins,” or whatever that artsy crap was. Point is, ya gotta watch yer back!
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I’m thinkin’, “Sweet, today’s my day!” But then, bam! My horse, Chiquitita, decides she’s not feelin’ it. She’s givin’ me the side-eye like, “Nah, bro, not today.” I’m like, “C’mon, girl! We got this!” But she’s just munchin’ on hay, totally unfazed.
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