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About San Juan

Man, lemme tell ya ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, motherfucker! Shit’s wild out there, like some damn jungle vibe from *Tropical Malady*. You’re cruisin’ the streets, eyes peeled, heart pumpin’—WHERE SHE AT? I’m talkin’ dark corners, neon lights flickerin’ like some freaky-ass dream. “The forest swallows you whole,” like that movie line, right? That’s the vibe—mysterious, fucked-up energy pullin’ you in.

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So, I hit the streets, right? First stop, El Yunque. I mean, who doesn’t love a good hike? But lemme tell ya, I was not ready for the humidity. I’m talkin’ sweat pouring down my back like a waterfall. Gross, right? But the views, OMG! You can see the whole coast from up there. It’s like, “Hey, look at me, I’m living my best life!”

Alouettes’ QB Cody Fajardo misses practice following birth of child