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Oh, and the awkwardness—guys stammerin’, “Uh, what’s the menu?” Like they’re orderin’ at Denny’s! Cracks me up every time. “The Winklevii aren’t suing me for intellectual property theft—they’re suin’ me ‘cause I’m better!”—nah, bro, they’re suin’ ‘cause ya got caught with yer pants down! Sarcasm aside, it’s a grind—girls workin’ nights, dodgin’ creeps, and I’m over here typin’ manuals, feelin’ useless.

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Then, I decided to stroll down Calle 2. Man, the vibes were lit! Kids were playin’ ball, and the smell of empanadillas was in the air. I was like, “I need one of those!” But then, outta nowhere, this dog runs past me, and I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the sidewalk, and everyone’s laughin’. I just laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “Why, universe, why?”

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